Step 9 is still down the road for me as I have just started working on Step 6 with my sponsor. But I’ve been part of a 12 Step Study Group and regularly listen to A Vision for You’s meetings (see pg 3 events), and I’ve thought quite a bit about it. Mostly because I’m dreading making amends! Having been brought up in a household of faith, the concept of asking for forgiveness – and giving it – is not unknown to me, but I have realized over my past two years in OA that I have practiced it imperfectly, to say the least.

It is sometimes easy for us to say to someone that we have forgiven them. And sometimes we tell someone we’re sorry just in order to avoid the discomfort of conflict. But deep inside we can still carry the resentment against that person, and it can fester and brew until it comes out in a binge. The 12 Steps are teaching me that I must truly work at bringing the ugliness in my life up to the surface so it can be healed by the sunlight of the spirit.

I heard once that “love is not an emotion; it’s a verb.” What more powerfully affects us every day is not what we feel, but what we do. Love means working to clear up my part in any conflict and making sure that I am free to be of service in the world today.

Kate I.
NoVAtions Co-Editor